Look at the word responsibility— “response-ability”— the ability to choose your response. Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility. They do not blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. Their behavior is a product of their own conscious choice, based on values, rather than a product of their conditions, based on feeling.
-Stephen Covey

Reactivity is the willful ignorance of a problem. When that ignorance is confronted with the truth, a person Read more

Finishing the Storm, Lacamas Counseling

Challenges arise in life

Whether we seek them out intentionally or whether they come upon us without planning. Storms of school, work, relationship conflict, parenting, abuse, grief, moving, personal challenges, and life transitions.
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If you’re like me, communication can sometimes feel like a battlefield. Here’s how to get your point across without going to war!

This article was originally published on mum.info. You can find it here. 

What if there was a way you could get your point across without raising the other person’s defenses?

Maybe this is a question that has only occurred to me, but I have a sneaking suspicion this is something most people wonder. Because, you know how it goes— you bring up something that’s really important to you and the other person dismisses your point or argues with you.

To borrow a warfare example from medieval times— imagine you are trying to get your troops across a drawbridge into the other person’s castle. And right as you’re about to storm across, the castle’s defenses are raised and the drawbridge is pulled up. And your troops go KERSPLATT into the moat!

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Embarking upon motherhood has been a long anticipated experience. In the last three months there has been much joy and there have also been several learning experiences.

I learned and prepared for motherhood the best that I could through several avenues of schooling, teaching, growing up around kids, babysitting, reading, and talking with other moms, and yet there is always so much more to learn.

The newest lessons that I’ve learned so far Read more

Life offers a certain rhythm that we each find and adapt to. That rhythm becomes our glue that allows us to manage the challenges that each new day brings. The rhythm is our ability to know what to expect with each new day; this could be a highly predictable rhythm or one with more character.

Challenges to this rhythm happen in transitions and change. Read more

Creating the person that we want to be can offer its challenges. There is empowerment and freedom, yet also a weight of responsibility in representing ourselves in our daily choices and actions. Identity is how we want to be known.

Identity is something that we discover about ourselves, something that people speak into our lives, and something that we speak about ourselves to others. Read more

“Going with the flow” at its best is being flexible and a good team-player. It’s recognizing the elements of life that are outside of our control. It’s allowing ourselves the opportunity to watch and observe other people. It’s giving us time to learn, collect our thoughts, and plan. It is a great skill to know and use – in moderation. Read more

In life we think of ourselves as able to roll with the punches. We visualize ourselves as strong and durable enough to handle life’s challenges.

Hopefully that is true to some degree. Hopefully we are equipped to handle a lot of life’s stressors and transitions. Several factors contribute to our strength and resiliency. We can thank the families that we came from, the schooling or professional growth that we’ve encountered, and supportive people that believe in us, as well as several personal characteristics about ourselves like openness to new experiences, humor, hope, problem solving skills, or a sense of purpose. Read more

Stressors and significant events affect us all. Sometimes we let those events define us and craft our identity. But what if we were able to see those incidents as understandable, manageable, and meaningful? What if they could be a part of our story but not the wholeness of who we are? What if we had held the power to remember those memories at will when we deemed it time to remember, instead of engaging in the haunting task of trying to force those memories to be silent? Read more